Shackled with Benefits: Why Modern Slavery Comes with Dental
"We work jobs we hate, to buy things we don't need, to impress people we don't like." -Fight Club
Greetings, fellow labor units! I hope you're all having a productive day. Because remember, your worth is directly proportional to your output (or at least the appearance of such). Today, let’s take a light jog through the glistening dystopia we lovingly call modern society. Spoiler alert: it’s a trap.
Chapter 1: The Myth of Freedom (And Other Bedtime Stories)
You were probably told at some point, likely between standardized tests and mandatory eye contact with authority figures, that you live in a free society. #America #Freedom… The noble dream of doing whatever you want... as long as what you want fits between a 40-hour work week, student loan repayments, and a daily existential breakdown.
Despite what you had thought, real freedom means choosing between 47 streaming platforms to distract you from your crushing sense of purpose-deficit. That’s democracy, baby!
But don’t worry—the system loves you. It doesn’t want to hurt you. It just wants to gently cradle you in an eternal cycle of productivity and consumption until you forget what sunlight feels like.
Chapter 2: Wage Slavery. It’s Not Just a 9 to 5, “It’s a Lifestyle”
Let’s talk about wage slavery. That charming phrase that sounds like an edgy punk band but is actually the structural basis of the modern world. You see, unlike actual slavery (which we all agree is horrific), wage slavery gives you just enough freedom to feel like you’re not in chains.
You can technically quit your job anytime you like, but then what? Go frolic in the meadows of unpaid rent? Forage for expired protein bars behind CVS? The illusion of choice is the crown jewel of the system. You choose your cage. You even decorate it with inspirational quotes and dual monitors.
The game is simple:
You're born.
You’re raised under the previous generation’s hand-me-down quotes of “Back in my day,” or “Pull yourself up by your bootstraps,” or my personal favorite, “Young people don’t want to work these days.”
You're educated (trained to pass exams, obey bells, and fear red ink).
You accumulate debt in the noble pursuit of a degree.
You work for decades to pay off the debt you took on, just to qualify for the work you now do, to pay for…well, everything else.
It’s basically Monopoly, except no one wins and the bank always owns Boardwalk.
Chapter 3: A Busy Bee is a Quiet Bee
The system doesn’t just want you tired, it wants you distracted. Ever wonder why it's easier to name 10 Marvel characters than 3 of your own unmet emotional needs? That’s not a bug. That’s the software.
Critical thinking is dangerous. If you pause long enough to question the point of it all, the whole thing could start to wobble. Can’t have that. So here—-fill your eyes and ears with another TikTok, a podcast on productivity hacks, and a fancy new task manager app to help you “optimize” your burnout.
And hey…if you do break down? No worries. That’s what therapy and lavender-scented bath bombs are for! Self-care is radical… until it threatens your availability during core business hours.
Chapter 4: Dependence is Control (with a Routing Number)
The system doesn’t want independent, grounded, critically thinking humans. It wants reliable output units with just enough serotonin to show up on Monday.
So we get hooked. On jobs, on social media, on Amazon Prime, on “treating ourselves” with the very money we earn numbing the pain of earning money. We’re told to chase dreams, but only if they fit neatly inside a LinkedIn bio.
Even those who “make it” often find the golden handcuffs just as tight, just shinier. Climbing the ladder just gives you a better view of the hamster wheel.
Final Thoughts
Wage slavery is the polite dystopia. It smiles at you in HR-approved fonts and offers PTO like a dog treat. But don’t be fooled—the goal isn’t your fulfillment, it’s your compliance.
But here’s the secret they hope you never realize:
You don’t have to play the game the way it’s written.
The cracks are everywhere. People are unplugging, growing gardens, building community, healing their nervous systems, questioning capitalism with the same energy they once questioned gluten. It’s happening.
So the next time you’re caught staring out the window during a Zoom call, wondering if there’s more to life than a zeroed out inbox and ergonomic chairs—there is.
You’re not lazy, broken, or ungrateful. You’re just waking up.
And that… is the scariest thing the system can imagine.